IFS Therapy for ADHD

Living with ADHD can feel like constantly juggling noise, emotion, pressure, and self-criticism- even on days when things look fine from the outside. Many clients tell me they feel misunderstood, too much, or like they’re always “masking.”

If that resonates, you’re not alone — and therapy really can help.

I offer ADHD-informed therapy using Internal Family Systems (IFS) for adults who want to understand their inner world, soften shame, and build a calmer relationship with their minds. Whether you’re formally diagnosed, exploring ADHD traits, or simply trying to make sense of emotional overwhelm, I’m here for you.

I’ve been working with ADHD clients for years, with hundreds of hours experience- and I’ve attended additional training in working with ADHD in the therapy room.

How ADHD can show up…and why therapy can feel different for ADHDers

  • ADHD isn’t just distraction. Many people experience:

    • emotional intensity or sudden “shutdown”

    • difficulty regulating overwhelm

    • rejection sensitivity (RSD)

    • perfectionism and chronic self-pressure

    • shame around inconsistency

    • spiralling thoughts, looping, overthinking

    • feeling “not good enough,” even when achieving a lot

    • sensory overload

    • burnout from masking or trying to “keep it together”

Many of these traits can be felt deeply in the therapy room itself.

When a therapist doesn’t recognise what ADHD can look like in real time, therapy can unintentionally feel shaming, unsafe or even retraumatising. This might show up through subtle misunderstandings, misplaced expectations, or assumptions about motivation, attention or effort.

Why Therapy With Me Works So Well for ADHD

I utilise the philosophy and tools from IFS therapy.

IFS therapy:

  • reduces shame instead of adding to it

  • supports emotional regulation

  • increases compassion for the internal chaos

  • helps with unblending from overwhelm

  • works with neurodiversity rather than forcing neurotypical strategies

  • strengthens self-trust and internal leadership

  • gives space for identity, sensitivity, and nuance

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Who This Therapy Is For

My practice is especially supportive for people who:

  • identify as ADHD or are exploring the possibility

  • are sensitive, introspective, or easily overwhelmed

  • feel misunderstood or judged in other therapy spaces

  • are queer, questioning, or part of LGBTQ+ communities (not required — simply an affirming environment)

  • want a gentle, trauma-aware therapeutic relationship

  • are tired of feeling like they need to “get their act together”

If you want therapy that honours complexity, this space welcomes you.

  • ADHD isn’t just about focus or distraction. Emotional intensity, shutdown, people-pleasing, silence, inconsistency or overwhelm can all show up in the therapy room itself. When these responses aren’t recognised, therapy can unintentionally feel shaming or unsafe. An ADHD-informed therapist understands how these patterns function as protective responses, not resistance or lack of motivation.

  • Yes, it can be. When therapy is delivered through a strictly neurotypical lens, clients with ADHD may feel misunderstood, judged or pressured to engage in ways that don’t fit their nervous system. This can sometimes feel retraumatising, especially for clients who already carry shame around being “too much” or “not enough.” ADHD-informed therapy focuses on safety, pacing and curiosity rather than correction.

  • An ADHD-informed approach adapts the therapy space to the client, not the other way around. This includes flexibility around attention, emotional expression, processing speed and regulation. It also involves the therapist reflecting on their own assumptions and staying responsive to what’s happening in the moment, rather than relying on rigid expectations.

  • You don’t need to perform in therapy. Difficulty concentrating, going quiet, feeling overwhelmed or losing your train of thought are all welcomed. In IFS circles we’re very careful to separate what is “hardware” and what is “software”; it’s my job as therapist to work with your hardware (your ADHD) rather than pathologise or try to fix.

  • IFS recognises that different parts of you respond differently to stress, overwhelm and attention demands. Instead of trying to control or override these parts, IFS helps you understand their roles and build internal cooperation. This might include masking parts, or parts which criticise; in IFS we proceed from the inside out, with curiosity and compassion.

If You’re Considering Therapy

Reaching out can feel big- especially if you’ve had experiences of not being believed, not being taken seriously, or being told you’re “too sensitive.”

You are welcome exactly as you are.

If you'd like to explore working together, you can book a consultation below.

→ Book a free 15 minute video call
→ Or email me: joe@goodtotalktherapy.co.uk

"I am feeling very optimistic. Joe’s enthusiasm is contagious and I feel empowered that I am finally going to take control"

— “A.S.” Former therapy client

Ready to talk?

Get in touch and let’s chat about how we can make therapy work for you.